Talk:Terri-Rick Relationship/@comment-17811708-20130908084716/@comment-3575890-20130908091213
Oh my god, Katie was barely in a proper frame of mind to consent to sex herself being an emotional, unstable mess fresh out of rehab. She did not have her mental faculaties about her to be capable of taking advantage of anyone. And Drew was not THAT drunk. He was not inebriated to the point of incapacitation. He was speaking coherently and his falling down the stairs afterwards was caused by a combination of the alcohol AND a post-concussive condition we did not yet know he had at the time. The fact that he was cheering like a champion about bedding Katie more than proves he was not raped. He was BRAGGING about it for god sake. It is not even dubious, grey-territory like the Dolly J situation, which I would agree WAS rape; it simply wasn't rape at all. As for the Eli and Clare situation..smh. Did Eli ever say or do anything to degrade and demean Clare? Threaten her? Insult her, talk down to her, belittle her until she felt small and insignificant? Throw constant profanities at her? Command anything of her? (Even at his most overprotective, all he ever did was ask of her.) Rip her from her dignity and sense of self worth? Emotional abuse is the concept of obtainting complete and total subjugation over another human being through means of aggressive, intimidating, coersive, threatening behavior. Control is achieved by instilling fear and guilt. A good example of this would be holding the constant threat of suicide over someone’s head to get them to stay in a relationship. Emotionally abusive individuals treat and address their partners like they’re beneath them and undeserving of respect. They are completely apathetic of their feelings because they don’t have the capacity to care. Victims of an abusive relationship in turn, become so accustomed to their significant others’ treatment of them, that they eventually buy into that they’re as worthless and insignificant as their partner makes them feel. With Eli, it was the very opposite. He worshipped Clare. Became so wrapped up in her that she become his entire world and his desperation to keep her from slipping away grew into obsessive-compulsive behavior, which no doubt derives from the fact that he suffers from OCD to begin with. It’s not excusable, but the significant difference is the root of his behavior stemmed from anxiety, fear of loss and co-depencendy on Clare; rather than lack of respect for her and a ruthless desire to control and possess. He never meant to make her feel smothered or trapped in the relationship. He was too far gone in the throes of mental disturbance to even understand or see how his behavior effected and upsetted her until she had to lay it out for him. No one is romanticizing Eli’s behavior. Crashing his hearse for her, was not this big elaborate gesture of love or romance, but it doesn’t make him this heartless, abusive monster either. He did not destroy his car so he’d end up in the hospital and Clare would come running to him. He did it because he believed by getting rid of the car, It’d fix everything between them. In addition to his already deteriorating frame of mind and state of anxiety, it had come to the point of which he was so desperate to mend things with her, that he would’ve done anything to achieve that.Ergo, he crashed Morty because by principle of her hating it, he thought it would make her happy. But it was not this premeditated master plan to make her go to him and the reason I say this, is because I highly doubt in those few moments before he crashed Morty he was thinking, “Oh hey, I should crash my car. That way, assuming I even survive the impact, she’ll show up at the hospital to see me.” No, it’s as though he hadn’t even been thinking about the consequences of his physical wellbeing when he crashed Morty. Hadn’t even considered the possibility that crashing Morty would put him in the hospital to begin with. All he could focus on at that given point in time, was getting rid of what he was convinced, was the root of all their problems. To further solifidy this, he looked genuinely surprised when she showed at the hospital – as if he could hardly believe she cared enough. The only reason he looked pleased being he didn’t expect her to show at all. And then when she did arrive, his innermost hopes that she still loved him, still cared for him, were restored. If only for a moment of course. All of those feelings went straight out the window the instant she looked at him like he was some sort of deceptive monster and bought into Alli’s preconceived misconceptions about him, rather than bother to evaluate and analyze the circumstances surrounding his reckless behavior. I’m not saying their relationship was healthy in it’s final stage nor do I think Clare was wrong to break up with him, but emotional abuse is too steep of an assessment. Eli’s clingyness, desperation, and intense fear of loss is not demonizing of him; it’s a red flag and cry for help. It’s not as black and white than if he was just a self serving, inconsiderate bastard with no regard for other people’s feelings like Owen. There is an enormous difference between the relationship dynamics of Eli and Clare and Owen and Anya. There is also a major difference between the nature of Eli and Clare’s relationship and the violent dynamic that defines an emotionally abusive relationship. EDIT: Drew's memory loss had nothing to do with the alcohol. On that very same day, he forgot his own brother's name. Are you seriously implying that the alcohol caused his amnesia? Drew had a post-concussive condition.